Don't Wait

My husband used to play the piano all the time while we were dating. He had such a free spirit and would go most anywhere and do most anything. He had a lot more of Mr. Visionary in him than he does now. And that is because of me.

I was so jealous of his time on the piano I would make him feel guilty for playing. So because he loves me, he stopped. I thought that was what I wanted. But now, everytime I hear the piano on the radio, I weep at my sin and in rememberance of the beautiful music my husband used to play.

I was so scared of what might happen that whenever he wanted to go somewhere or do something, I would bring up all these complaints. What if we run out of gas? What if we get stuck there and can't get back? What if... I am sure during our years of dating and early marriage I what if'd the Mr. Visionary right out of my husband!! We still do some fun stuff, and we do a lot more planning than before. But there are still missed opportunities because I was so scared.

For example, we were visiting the Balitmore/DC/NY area in 2000. My husband wanted to goto NY, but I was too scared and started in with the what if's. I may not have said them out loud, but in thinking them and fighting with my husband not to goto NY, we didn't go. I had been able to see the Towers back in 1996 (a graduation present from my parents - a trip to NYC.) But now my husband will never be able to see them. He could have if I had just been more submissive and trusting (him and God).

Now we are planning a trip to Disneyland. A lot of people think we should wait a few years and go when the children are older and able to enjoy it more. I used to have those same arguments running through my head. My husband's grandfather and great-grandfather BOTH worked on building the castle. We live only a two days drive from Disneyland (and who knows when we might move and not be so close). So this is my year to plan our family vacation (he planned the honeymoon, I planed our first year, he planed our second year, etc.). I don't want to miss the opportunity for him to visit this place.

I have learned (and been even more convicted since reading Created to Be His Help Meet) to foster that Mr. Visionary inside my husband. I do hope that one day the music from him playing the piano will fill our house daily. And that we will do more fun things as a family (vacations and even little things nearby). I am learning not to what if my husband to death. And I am learning to be more supportive of ALL his sides (Mr. Visionary, Mr. Steady, and Mr. Command).