Been Away

Sorry I have not posted lately. For about 15 years now, I have had horrible pain in my chest and frequently "choke" on my food. I fianlly found a doctor who didn't tell me "It was all in my head, to just think 'OPEN OPEN OPEN' and I would be fine." She set me up for a test this past week where she could look into my esophagus. It turns out the my esophagus is not working properly. Instead of constantly working to push the food down, it is still, like one big long solid tube. To top it off, there is something wrong in my stomache (had to do a biopsy, but no worry of cancer - what else could a biopsy be for?). Unfortuneatly I will have to wait for the answers. If you feel led, please pray for me. I have more tests on Friday. Thank you.

Thank You God!

Today I simply could NOT find the hairspray (the one to put in the girl's hair to make it easier to brush through). So I asked my 3 year old child (who was the one who asked me to brush her hair) to find it. So off she went looking. We stilll have our baby monitor's on and I heard her upstairs say "Thank You God!" She then informed me that she had found it. It warms my heart to hear my children thank God for even the smallest of things. It is a good reminder to me that NOTHING is too small for God. :)

Update on my Mr. Visionary in hiding

Well, I don't know what I did wrong, but his fire for his own business has wained again. BUT, Mr. Visionary is still there. He has some other ideas that he is sharing with me and he is excited about. He can tell that I am scared (who is not scared of change?) :) , and is so cute buying books to get me excited about these new ideas. I am trying. And he does know that I am VERY supportive of him (something that I don't think he really felt from me in this area before). I am sure the excitement will come, and I know it is important to him that not only am I supportive, but excited too.

Digi Scrapping and Paper Scrapping

People ask me if I paper scrap anymore.

I used to but then when my 3rd daughter was born, EVERYTHING went digital. Of course, 2 years ago, digital was not the best quality, so we didn't have very many pictures of her (or anyone else for that matter). I actually started making home movies (which I still enjoy doing).

But now we are totally digital with no prints. So, even though I could prolly print the pictures and then paper scrap them, I would rather save the money from the ink and paper and print out my digi layouts.

Plus, my paper layouts NEVER looked this good! LOL!! :D Most of them are pretty dorky looking. But my daughters love them. :) I need to actually learn how to print out the 12x12 (most print them out in 8x8 which I plan on doing, that size is SO CUTE!) so it looks good and then get a book for them so my children can look through books again.

Plus it is nice because I can print extra copies of the books for my parents (dh's and mine). And I can make smaller layouts and print them on magnets and give them away as gifts. And I don't have to worry about the kids destroying them because I can always print out another copy. I always worried so (and still do) when they look through my paper layouts.

I honestly don't miss the paper scarpping. I was never that good at it. I suppose if I had been better at it, I would do both. But now with making home movies and digi scrapping, I don't think I would have time for paper. I also enjoy quilting, baking and plan to learn to crochet. :D

I do like the idea of printing out some pictures and allowing the children to use the scrapbooking supplies to make their own books. I am gathering up the supplies from my old stash to give my 5 year old (who will be close to 6 at Christmas) a small kit for her to make her own scrapbook. She loves looking at my layouts and I am sure she would enjoy making her own.

Oh Happy Day!

My girls are learning so much so quickly. The saying the children are like spounges is so true! They pick up on everything (even the bad things). I need to be more mindful of my behavior, not just around them but at all times. And I need to be more JOYFUL! Why is it so difficult to be full of joy?

My Man

I just gotta take some time to brag on my man here.

Yesterday evening, I just DID NOT want to cook. I know, it is wrong and selfish. So I asked my husband if he would not mind figuring out something for dinner. He said sure.

Now ladies, if you EVER have tons of stuff in your fridge that is about to go bad and don't know what to do with it, ask your husband to make dinner. LOL! He used everything that was about to go bad and made THE BEST dinner I have had.

He was so adorable! I caught him using the professional chef's trick of wiping the plate to clean it up and make it look pretty. THEN, he took some cheese and sour cream and made this very elegant shape. The presentation was WONDERFUL, and the taste was EXCELLENT!

I need to think of some wonderful way to thank him for such a wonderful dinner and presentation and for NOT MAKING ME COOK! LOL!!

Just some encouragement to brag on YOUR man today!

The Mr. Visionary in my dh waiting to be unleashed

For almost 9 years now, my dh has been tinkering with the idea of starting his own business. It is not that he doesn't like what he does, but there are aspects that he wishes he had more of (like the ability to take the day off when he wants to, work with his brother and close friend, etc.). It is not that I was not supportive of this idea, but I was not supportive of it. I usually jsut smiled and said "that sounds like fun honey."

So earlier this week, he started talking about starting up his business again and asked me to think of names for his company. I had read the [i]Created to Be His Help Meet[/i] book so I knew what to do, sort of. I did think up quite a few names for him. But I guess my lack of enthusiasm was showing or something, because he really didn't persue the idea anymore.

I knew that I had done something wrong. I know my husband has a lot of Mr. Steady in him, but he also has quite a bit of Mr. Visionary that I have pushed and shoved down until I made him fit into a little box that I could lock up and keep him there. Mrs. Pearl was right, that a man would do most anything to make his woman happy. EVen if it meant dying to a part of himself.

Oh how it PAINS me to say that! It saddens me to think of what I have done, but God's light is shinning right on me and this situation, and I can see clearly now what I have done.

SO I asked the yahoo group for help and Shannon shared a WONDERFUL testimony! (BTW - the ladies on this list are so great!)

I was sharing Shannon's story with my husband last night, and I let him know that while I did not expect the same results (I think he felt pressured to do as well), that the main thing that stuck out to me was his happiness and being able to take the day off to go fishing. While he enjoys his work right now, I do know that he does not ALWAYS enjoy it, and he doesn’t always enjoy the hours, and he doesn’t enjoy being passed over for promotion because he is a family man (out of the 50 people that work there, only ONE other person has children and she is a single mom). They are pretty understanding about letting Brian work from home (in a different state), and for letting Brian work from TX (so we can go visit family more often), and letting him have time off in an emergency --- last May one morning we got a call at 7:30 AM our time 9:30AM work time that dh’s dad had just had a heart attack and Bri called work and said he would be taking the week off to be with his dad and they were VERY understanding).

SO last night while we were talking, I mentioned that I know I have not been supportive in the past and may have even been the opposite of supportive. He shook his head yes (which I really had no idea I was THAT unsupportive --- I guess the fact I wasn’t supportive to him meant I was totally unsupportive). I didn’t realize just how much I had hurt him all these years by not being overtly supportive. My husband’s love language includes words of appreciation.

So last night, I apologized and asked his forgiveness and told him that I would be willing to do ANYTHING to help him start his own business. He said that it would take a LOT of time (meaning he would work on it on nights and weekends and would have less time for me and the girls AT FIRST, but that once the company really got going, he would have LOTS more time for us). I must admit that some of my actions in the past have been pretty selfish. I would make dh feel guilty for working long hours. If he was playing on the computer instead of playing with the family, I would again nag him that he should be spending more time with us. SO he gave up a LOT for me (and our family), which he really didn’t have to sacrifice, but he did in order to stop my nagging and in order for me to feel loved. Isn’t that sad that my husband had to give up his musical brilliance of playing the piano in order for me to feel loved. A husband should never have to give up something he loves in order for his wife to feel loved. And now it has been so long since he played, that it would take about a year of practice for him to get back to being as good as he was.

Of course after reading Created To Be His Help Meet, I realize that my behavior was deplorable! He was leery at first to do anything just for himself (like play around on the computer). He still is a bit leery. I just tell him that all he has to do is tell me that he wants to do that (so I don’t feel he is avoiding me) and then go have fun doing it. That has helped him.

So last night in the middle of our conversation (which was going into an hour, but it was really pleasant conversation and very healing), I mentioned what I thought would be a great company name and he got so excited that he couldn’t sleep! He went in and got on the computer (who knows what he did) and was on there all night. Poor thing is conked out in bed right now (another plus to working from home is that he can go into work later than his co-workers).

I am not sure if this is just a phase to grow dh and I in the Lord, or if he really will be starting his own business. But I do know, by God's grace, I will be able to joyfully support him and encourage him no matter what his decision is.